來，改變自己！

星期六晚聽港台「你得我都得」，李燦榮提到刻在西敏寺某不知名主教的墓誌銘，對我啟發很大。

(此圖非本文提到的墓誌銘)

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“When I was young and free and my imagination had no limits, I dreamed of changing the world.

As I grew older and wiser, I discovered the world would not change, so I shortened my sights somewhat and decided to change only my country. But it too seemed immovable.

As I grew into my twilight years, in one desperate attempt, I settled for changing only my family, those closest to me, but alas, they would have none of it.

And now as I lay on my deathbed, I suddenly realize if only I had changed myself first, then by my example I would have changed my family. From their inspiration and encouragement, I would have been able to better my country and who knows, I may have even changed the world.”

(中文譯本：老編西歪 : 西敏寺大教堂的著名墓碑銘文 [勵志文章])

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躺在床上垂危的主教發現，憑個人力量，不要說改變世界，就連改變自己的家人也寸步為艱；可是後來他醒覺，若先把自己改變，家人就會受感動而改變，透過家人的支持和鼓勵，說不定他能改變他的國家。這個醒覺，就像伊索寓言其中一則「北風和太陽」的道理 (Persuasion is better than force / 勸說往往比強迫更有效)。

常說的「人不能改變世界，只能改變自己來遷就世界」實在太令人沮喪。從上述的智慧可知，我們應該理解「遷就」是「間接改變」的一途。撫心自問，近年我的心態真是老化了，游過幾個漩渦後，逐漸培養成依賴外力改變自己的習慣，像花瓣落在流水之上。我應該主動改變自己，再上戰場才是！

後話：

關於這段墓誌銘，應由 1999年 Jim Clemmer 出版的 “Growing the Distance ( ISBN 0-9684675-0-4, p78)” 首先引述。在網上找了很久，也找不到這著名的墓誌銘半張相片。根據資料，那個無名墓碑擁有者，是一名死於公元 1100 的聖公會主教 (Anglican Bishop)。由於聖公會後來才成立，加上主教不是應該獨身的嗎，為甚麽會有家庭？疑點重重呢。 管它，只要道理說得對就可以了。